I wanted to call this: Detox the holiday shame away
Thanksgiving just wrapped up and Christmas is on its way and everywhere on social media I see:
“Oh my god, I ate so much. How do I detox everything I ate?”
– A lot of people in need of hugs
First of all, you don’t detox from food unless you season your turkey with rosemary and cyanide. Food is full of nutrients and if you get too many at once your body will store the excess as fat. You can burn this fat with a good diet and exercise plan.
“Detoxing” is a huge industry built upon the idea that you are full of “toxins” that make you feel icky and gain weight and unless you use some special cleansing tea you will just regain any lost weight because of toxins…. This is taking advantage of the fact that most people gain weight back after losing it and assign it to some terrible theory about “toxins.”
Most times if something is toxic in your body your liver and kidneys will take care of it, or you’ll vomit, or die. Never will your body react with “I better store more fat to thin these toxins out.”
Nevertheless, if you insist on ‘cleansing’ and ‘detoxing’ this holiday season in reaction to a bit of over eating try this meal prep recipe with enough fiber to “cleanse” out all your pipes and enough firepower to “detox” that cupcake you regret eating back in 7th grade.
“Kill it with fire (and fiber)” Chicken And Egg noodle bowl
What you’ll need:
- 2.5 lbs of chicken breast
- 3 14oz bags of frozen stir fry veggies
- 1 14 oz bag of frozen broccoli
- At least two types of hot peppers (for general coverage use jalapeño and thai peppers, for added heat add habaneros to jalapeños)
- 2 Tablespoon ancho chili powder
- Black pepper
- Salt (use at your own discretion)
- 1 Tablespoon soy sauce
- 2 Teaspoon Sesame seed oil
- 1.5 oz lime juice
- 280 g (dry) egg noodles
- 2 Cloves minced garlic
First cut chicken breast into thin strips, ideally 1 inch squares that are 1/4 inch thick. Put chicken breast into a sealable tupperware, add ancho chili powder, sesame seed oil, soy sauce, lime juice and salt & pepper (season to taste). Seal the tupperware and shake profusely. Let sit for at least 45 minutes, 90 is better.
In a medium pot add water, add a few pinches of salt and minced garlic. Bring to a boil. Add noodles, water should just barely cover all noodles. Cook for 7-9 minutes, stirring regularly. Once the time is up put noodles in a strainer and let cool.
Veggies and Peppers
You may have to do this repeatedly depending on how large of a pan/wok you own, I used my largest pan and got it done in one go but the quality suffered a little bit.
First identify your pepper types, here’s what I used:
Obviously I went overboard. If you only use one type I suggest using a Thai or Fish Pepper, they have the best flavor for this dish.
Chop all the peppers in two (length-wise), unless shaped like a habanero (mince those bad boys). Put in a dish on the side.
Add oil to pan, add about a quarter of your peppers to the oil, cook for about one minute. Add veggies and stir regularly, stop when veggies are desired crispness.
In the last 2 minutes of cooking the veggies add the rest of the peppers and stir vigorously. Adding the peppers this late ensures they retain a bit of their raw flavor and texture but will still cook into the dish.
Remove the veggies into a large container to cool but leave the oil in the pan.
Cooking the chicken
By now that chicken has been sitting for about 45-90 minutes and is ready to go on the burner. Use the same pan you used for the veggies and keep any oil left over (it’ll add that resonant heat to the chicken).
Cook the chicken on medium-high stirring regularly until all pieces are uniformly golden-white and no pieces are raw in the middle. When done move to a large container to cool.
Using everything I cooked here I divided it into 5 containers. The approximate macros for each container were:
- Fat: 8g
- Carb: 59g
- Protein: 56g
I actually had a lot more veggies than would fit in my meal-prep containers so I put the extra into 5 smaller containers so that I have all my vegetables for lunch.
So that’s it
This was a fun recipe that I wanted to make after seeing a lot of people recommending spicy and fiber loaded foods as joke recommendations to people asking for advice on how to “clear out” after thanksgiving.
In reality you don’t have to cleanse or detox after thanksgiving. If you ate more than you planned then own up to it, realize it isn’t what you wanted to do and do better going forward. Trying to retroactively do something about it is literally wasting your energy on trying to change past decisions, don’t do it, just be better going forward.